No Matter What

No matter what, my child, I will be.

“Will you be?,” I questioned the Lord,
“Will there be nothing that could separate us and break us apart?
I am still haunted by the echoes in my head.
I am still tearing down myself from all these thoughts.
I am being clouded by fearful imaginations,
That the day might come when I will fail you, Lord.
And that I might not stand in front of you,
That you would reject me.”

No matter what you fear, I will remain faithful.
No matter what you think, nothing can separate us.
No matter what happens, I will save you.

“Will you?” I questioned the Lord,
“Will you really? Some people say it’s difficult.
They say it’s hard to get to heaven.
That, If I am not persecuted, I will burn in the pits of hell.
At times, I think of you as a cloud of wrath,
Just waiting above until the time comes,
When you’ll strike with your iron fists of thunder
and send everyone helpless, desperate for life.
Your judgment scares me. I might not be saved.”

No matter what, believe me, I will rescue you.
No matter what they tell, I will never forsake you.
No matter what happens, I will love you forever.

“Won’t you?” I questioned the Lord,
“What if I fail? What if I sin against you?
What if I don’t make it through, and I won’t do
all that you command me to?
What if I don’t want to do anything at all?
I am not worthy at all.
I am not as good as them.
I could not preach you to my friends.
I am so tired, Lord. I am so unable.
Forgive me.”

No matter what you are, I will not hate you.
No matter how you fail, I will never be mad at you.
No matter what happens, I will keep you in my arms.

“Are you?” I questioned the Lord.
“Sometimes I couldn’t feel you.
I feel as if you’re leaving me. I don’t feel your embrace.
I cry because what I’m going through is so hard,
yet I don’t feel you. Would you do that?
Maybe it’s me. Yes, it is me…
Not reaching you enough. Not talking to you enough.
Not faithful or righteous enough in my actions.
Is that it, Lord? Please, tell me.”

No matter what you do, I will remain true.
No matter what you feel, I will be with you.
No matter what happens, I will pull you through.

“What about it?” I questioned the Lord,
“I am lazy. I make excuses to not know you.
I choose to sin instead of seeking you.
Sometimes my thoughts are filled with darkness,
Full of lust, of curses, of hate.
At times I hate you. And, at times I don’t believe you,
Will you still save me, then?
Will you still love me, then?
Will you still keep me in your arms, then?
Will you still pull me through, then?
I am tired of thinking like this, Lord.
I am tired of being like this,
I am tired of not looking, searching hard enough.
I doubt myself at times!
But, you are my only hope!”

… … 

“Lord, will you still love me?”

Then the Lord said to me,

My child, I will still love you, and will continue to love you.
I have forgiven all your sins on the cross.
I have demonstrated my love for you.
In me, you are no longer condemned.
I work even your mistakes into good.
In me, you are pardoned.
In me, you are healed.
I have redeemed you from the pit,
I have crowned you with compassion.
I have shown you what love is.
And I offer you rest from works.
I offer you peace.

Neither death, nor life,
Nor angels, nor principalities, Nor powers,
Nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth,
Nor any other creature,
shall separate my love from you.
No matter what happens, nothing can stop me from loving you.

Now, tell me, my child, do you still not believe that I truly love you so?
My love for you, I showed at the cross.
I ransomed you from the power of the grave.
Will you not believe that what I’ve done is finished?
Will you not understand that all you need to do is believe in me?
You need not labor, nor be heavily burdened,
For I have done everything for you.
Will you not find rest in me?

I cried, and nodded, as He boldly instilled upon me these words.

He loves me… no matter what.
Indeed, He does.
I may have a lot of questions,
a lot of doubts,
a lot of mistakes and failures,
but then…
All He asks me to do is rest..
To rest..in His finished work.
He is for me…no matter what.
And so, I will not let go of Him.
And so, I will not worry.
And so, I will not try to save myself.

God, You are my only Hope.

Scripture Reference:
I John 1:9, Romans 5:8, Romans 8:1, Romans 8:28, Psalm 103:1-5,
I John 3:16, Hebrews 4:10, Philippians 3:8, Isaiah 26:3, Romans 8:38-39,
Hosea 13:14, John 6:28-29, Matthew 11:28-30

This dialogue between the narrator and God has been in my mind for some time now. To be honest, I am so confused right now. These are all my questions to him, and I know a lot of you ask Him the same.

Yet He is the Truth – and the truth is, He loves us no matter what. We have to truly believe it.