Side of the Coin


So, really quite idle these days. Nothing much going on, nothing much happening. Nothing exciting or there’s no movement on my behalf. It’s just how it is. I don’t know what’s bad or good with that, or if truly – “or” is indeed an option in “yes or no”.

I guess I just got used to being idle. I wasn’t truly used to doing… anything at all. Working. Getting my hands up, taking up a wrench and fixing things. Those sort of stuff. I’m not exactly physically well-built either. It’s all side tracks from there.

I don’t know if I should:
a.) Do something “big” while I’m young, while my bones are still working. Make a big impact. Paint a big mark here in this world and end up with a legacy. Movement. Action. The negative thing on this, is that, I wasn’t used to it. I wasn’t used to getting worked up, and neither is my surroundings allowing it.
b.) All I need is to wait, be still, let things flow, and let things happen, without any resisting force from any side. Rest. Peace. Calm, for everything will be fine.

That sort of contradiction.

Well…which side of the coin should drop down?

Time is surely passing by, and many of you would probably choose choice “a” anyway. But, here I am, still thinking through things. What might happen if I just sit still and wait, unminding anything at all, whether it be lost time, my age going up (I’ll be 18 in the 18th of February), or what.

I need your voice on this.
Thanks.
-tacticianjenro

5 thoughts on “Side of the Coin

  1. Interesting that you had the thoughts of… “b.) All I need is to wait, be still, let things flow, and let things happen, without any resisting force from any side. Rest. Peace. Calm, for everything will be fine”

    I know you read my entry from yesterday (which was written after you wrote this, but before I found this) and it says pretty much the same thing, in a lot the same way. I’m not 17, I’m 49. In the 32 year difference between us, I’m still learning, still listening and while I can’t say you “should” do this or that, I do know that choice B is what I’m hearing God tell me right now through scriptures, through songs, through waking me in the middle of the night just to LISTEN to Him last night. What I’ve found is that it’s really difficult to shut my mouth/mind and just listen, just rest, just be still. It’s a whole lot less effort to just do things for myself… with really bad results, unfortunately. Personally, that’s the challenge He’s given me is to be still, let HIM be in charge, to wait on him, to rest… And honestly, what HE can do in and through us is so much greater than anything we can hope to accomplish in and of ourselves.

    • I am very glad for your comment, jenene. I thought this post was going to pass without anyone dropping a comment in it, but, you did. :) Thanks.
      See…there is a lot of pressure, within me, with what I desire, and my surroundings, to just go and make a change, get all worked up to improve, (like gaining weight) since looking at all these issues I have with myself just makes me want to go and fix it… stuff like college, finances… and it makes me think that not doing something would be irresponsible and undisciplined.

      But I agree with you about choosing choice B. It was my choice to begin with… it’s just a difficulty to move from the “A” mindset (that I never wanted but got used to, despite the fact that I’m still not that pushing my own efforts, just anxious about it).

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