I cried on my way to the mall today.
I was riding the taxi, and there I just cried. I wasn’t with anyone I know.
Let’s see…Earlier that morning, I got scolded for something so shallow, then, the jeepney driver said the fare I paid wasn’t enough. Then, at the taxi, the dude did’t give me my change, and then when I asked for it some minutes later at the driver he said that I should have done so earlier and I never got it.
And so I just cried. (I wore a visor cap, so the strangers I were with didn’t really notice.)
And, you might go saying how weak I am…that I need to go toughen up and stop being so faint-hearted… I know. I hope I am like that, too.
I never really wanted to cry anyway. I just did, no matter how weak that seems to be.
Later at the mall, I went up to the Sky Garden and found this awesome grasshill that was quite away from the rest of the mall. I went there and saw the wonderful view – the skies, the proximity of the mall, and all these hundreds of strangers…
I lied down. Without minding what others would think, I just laid there. I didn’t mind the grass dirtying my jacket, or what…I just…wanted to lie down.
And then, I just talked to God.
All the words just flowed from me. What I wanted to say to Him, I told the bright blue sky and the white clouds. I have never done this before. But the moment I did, it felt great.
I sang to God. These were the words that I sang.
“Please, come before me. Speak to me. Rain down on me.”
With a rhythm I seem to have made up, I sang those words (and a few others). I didn’t know where it came from…but now it’s clear to me that it’s from my heart.
And I know God always listens.
All these things…all these gadgets…clothes…reputation…popularity…it will all just fade away. Death is certain, and we know it… we will die some time or another… and what else am I to hope for? Even if I never saw Jesus…even if I never saw Him get beaten up at the cross and what… I know it all happened. He rose from the dead, and conquered the grave. I believe because that’s the faith He put into me.
That’s why…I want to be sure of my salvation. Well, I’ll be confident enough to say that I am saved, that’s because Jesus’ love never fails.
I just lied down on the hill when the security guard told me the place was actually off limits. There wasn’t any sign, though, but there, I had to leave.
I spent the rest of my time at the mall watching these awesome DDR players do their thing, then check out a few gadgets, eat, and bought a few stuff, too. That was definitely a great experience.