There was this time in my life when I used to wake up early in the morning and watch Playhouse Disney when I was a kid. That was around…1999-2002. Shows like Bear in the Big Blue House, Rolie Polie Olie, and PB&J Otter got me open to the English language even in my young age. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve really embraced this language a lot, even as a Filipino.
“Any fears, doubts, pride, guilt–all the things that plague us–sin, that so easily entangle us, always, if you trace it back you can find a line that goes back to disbelief that God loves you.”
Mike of Tenth Avenue North pretty much sums it up here in this video journal.
“We love – not to gain the love of God – but because He already, and does, love us.”
I believe that a lot of us still make a misconception out of this…thinking, and laying out indirectly, that to gain God’s favor we ought to do…to be. But that’s not the case, and that’s not the Gospel! God loves us and we don’t need to do anything to make Him love us. He loves us unconditionally.
And not making this clear for most Christians is probably the reason why most of us are moving away from Him. God is Love and all He does, He does out of love for you.
My sister and I went to La Mesa Eco Park here in Manila a few days ago. It’s a single jeepney ride from our home – so near – yet the place itself is tranquil, and relaxing.
I took pictures of a few of the marvelous sights and plants I have found on our trip there. Plants are glorious creations. Well, you know, their living beings, too.
Back then in my posts I’ve written about looking for “Real Rest” that could only come from Jesus. Nothing heavy or ill-fitting, but all light, free, and unforced.
One of my other posts, “Side of the Coin” is about this dilemma I have whether to rest or to move. To run, or to sit still. I know, looking at all the people who are working hard to reach their dreams, who are doing what it takes to make it high in the ladders of society. Or perhaps, a Christian moving and walking with God and being shaped by Him and reaching further heights as well and being blessed with great amounts.
Looking at those people, I could not help but to be confused – they all seem to be reaching higher than I do and I know that I have a lot of faults as to not being as successful. I don’t know whether I should move away from my comfort zone, or to embrace the Comforter himself, Jesus.
But lately, I just found the answer.
Giusefi sat down as he shared his problems to me. He was one of my closer friends. These were one of those rare moments when someone as strong as him would sit down and share his frail sides. He barely talks about them to anyone else, except for his best friends, and I was one of those friends.
“I…couldn’t help it. I’m sorry, Jenro,” he began.
“No, it’s okay, what is it? What happened? What’s wrong?” I replied. Earlier he had asked me to come, saying there was a problem he wanted to share to me.
“I couldn’t help it. I – you know, it’s hard to explain…” he said. I just nodded.
Giusefi is a pastor’s son. His mother goes home once or twice every few months, and at times, Giusefi is left at home to care for his siblings. The responsibility is on his shoulders.
“Sincerity. Strength. Courage.
Humanity – all seems to focus towards the idea of our actions.
But the truth I came to realize is…our actions are not solid.
Not at all firmly planted in stable ground.
Some fail. Some succeed. But between these lines –
It is all a road of vanity and pride.
Does what we do really matter?
Is what we are doing right now, only a road leading to vanity?
..While those who fail wind up in a dead end of vexation..”
These were his words as he stood up in front of the class and shared to us his thoughts.
His classmates were silent. Stiff. Some felt weird. Some did not comprehend. Some ignored them entirely. But one thing I’m sure of is…there’s a whole lot of meaning behind those words.
I talked to him after class that day.
“Kaylan?” I said, as I approached him. “What did you mean?”
This is all a true story.
It was an ordinary morning at one of my classes at school. That time when I was in my seat, I found this tiny spider resting at my shoulder. I have never seen anything like it. I especially love his color. I named the spider Glow.
I was thinking of bringing the little dude home, but I didn’t have some place to keep him. Well, I was so amazed. I have never been so enthralled at a spider like this ever…in fact I never really liked crawling creatures.
When I stood up to move, I feared that he would flee, but when I came back to my seat again, he was still there. There were times when he would fall off my clothes and into the floor, but I would pick him up again.