Look Outside


Back then in my posts I’ve written about looking for “Real Rest” that could only come from Jesus. Nothing heavy or ill-fitting, but all light, free, and unforced.

One of my other posts, “Side of the Coin” is about this dilemma I have whether to rest or to move. To run, or to sit still. I know, looking at all the people who are working hard to reach their dreams, who are doing what it takes to make it high in the ladders of society. Or perhaps, a Christian moving and walking with God and being shaped by Him and reaching further heights as well and being blessed with great amounts.

Looking at those people, I could not help but to be confused – they all seem to be reaching higher than I do and I know that I have a lot of faults as to not being as successful. I don’t know whether I should move away from my comfort zone, or to embrace the Comforter himself, Jesus.

But lately, I just found the answer.

And I write it here in this poem:

Look Outside

I can’t help but ask, “Is this really about me?”,
I don’t know when this will end, it’s all in vanity
I raise my glass to myself and find, the answer’s not right here
It’s right outside, right out that door, waiting there for me.

I’ve always thought this life was just about what I’ve achieved
Or maybe what I’ve done or how I all end up to be
But then again, that’s not the case of life, at least that’s what I see
Not to introspect too much, but look outside of me

Outside to where the freedom is
Outside to where I see
The skies, the green pastures, the rainbows
And the beautiful wide sea

Outside to where the light is
And more importantly,
Outside to where I find the grace –
Alone, the grace that saves me.

I’ve found that real rest is to look out of yourself.

To look out of what you can do, what you do, and everything about you.

It’s looking outside, into the great majesty of the powerful and loving God that makes you feel truly at peace.

And truth be told, we know that sometimes it’s easier to do something, and to look at ourselves instead and I know I still do, too.

But there is something about nothing that’s actually pretty fine, at least, to me.
Because when we are stripped off of our abilities, our blessings, our hands, our feet…then what are we?
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I know some of you would disagree, but…
Sometimes we’re just too busy trying to look good in front of the mirror, making a name for ourselves, and we don’t know we’re actually feeding our lust for acceptance, honor, and to lift up our pride.

What we ought to do is turn away from that mirror, and look to Jesus, waiting outside, knocking—it’s Jesus, telling us that we need Him.
We need Him, and we don’t make Him as an excuse to look good in front of others, but to shine His light within us. The world out there doesn’t need us, instead, they need Jesus. We ought to make them closer to Him than to get them to admire us.

This post I’ve found just explains what I’m trying to point out more clearly.

What do you think? Please do post a comment.

5 thoughts on “Look Outside

  1. CT says:

    Tacticianjenro,
    I check in on the “escape…..” website once in awhile and haven’t seen you lately. Clicked on your name from an old post and found you here. I haven’t had much time to navigate your site but will be back. I’m so happy for you. You’ve done a great job just being you. I find you honesty refreshing.

    • Thank you for your encouragement. I have written this over a year ago, and my views about this still remain shaky. Maybe I’m actually only running away from my life…

      • CT says:

        or maybe you are looking for life.
        Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re still quite young. If you think of the people that have understanding that you don’t, I think you’ll find they went through years searching and they are much older than you. You really are a remarkable person.

        • I’m far from being remarkable. I have so much hate that I can’t express and I’m a total wreck worn out on life, only wanting to be someone who I’m not, and that makes me want to cry. But thanks anyway. I appreciate that you see hope in me and I hope there will be too, someday.

          • CT says:

            I too have been in a pit lately but you’ve reminded me of something I have been doing wrong & I suspect you may be doing the same thing.From the time I can remember, I had a brother that was favored by both my parents. It tried so hard to impress them and get them to notice me but no matter what I did, it seemed my brother was in the spotlight & I was invisible. Now that I’m much, much older, I find myself in the same position but with other people (both my parents have passed). I suspect that I have never let go of those feelings that I had in my childhood and I keep perpetuating the same thing over & over (As a man thinketh, so is he) I’m not looking to God for my worth. I’m looking to man (whose breath is in his nostrils) When God created us (in Genisis) what did he declare about what he created? Is there anything or anyone that can change what God has created? We need to quit looking to others and ourselves for the truth about us. It’s easy for me to think of you and say “God didn’t create any junk” but even though we are created equal, that is the way i look at myself sometimes. I think we need to spend much more time reading and thinking about what God has said about us and also spend time in stillness asking God to show us the truth about ourselves. I think we need to keep in the forefront of our minds that we are the Beloved children of God and nothing anyone says or does (not even ourselves ) can truly change that. Let’s see if we can shake off the dust and change the direction of our minds. We really need to get our minds out of the gutter and the false beliefs we have about ourselves.
            You’ve inspired me to get out of this rut that I seem to keep myself in with my own wrong ways and wrong thinking. I hope this will inspire you to do the same.
            I have been praying for an answer and now I realize that it’s up to me to stand my ground in Christ and hold. Habits are hard to break. Maybe I’ll keep falling back in but I need to remember to grab his strong hand and LET him lift me up.
            Thank You, This really has helped me and it was getting out of my own pity party to try and lift another that I found where I have been going wrong. I hope this will help you too. Thanks Again Jenro & I will keep you in my daily prayers. BLESSINGS

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