False Truths and Surreal Realities

I so hate failure.

I so hate consequences.

I so hate regrets.

Come on. Everyone says to live in EXCELLENCE. Make every move, every action, the best that we can. But why am I like this? I don’t really see that as the big point.

Let me tell you this. I seem to hate myself whenever I fail to meet people’s expectations. Even if I really don’t live by that. It’s just the thing of how they see me whenever I do fail that I can’t live with.

And…I don’t want excellence.
I don’t want responsibility.
I feel like it’s just so much weight that I have to let go and let God.

But, is it wrong?

I want.. God to excel for me.
I want.. God to be responsible for me.
Is that too much? Is that an immature thing to ask?
Because I feel like it’s just my way of ESCAPING, feigning reality.

Because if I open my eyes, I can foresee the consequences – mainly due to my actions, or rather, my LACK of action..

And if I open my ears, I hear so much false truths, and so much agendas focusing on EFFORT, EXCELLENCE, striving, and, as I can see, priorities that focus on self, and even love, it is indulgent…

Somehow, I want to run away. Run and dive into the surreal world where I can truly say and believe that “Everything will be okay”.

But that’s what faith is about…believing the unseen.

I guess my concern is just, the way the world works. I don’t want to fit in.

What could be the way? Is this the way? Is this okay?

As I open my eyes, I can see the consequences I may reap, due to what I sow…

One thought on “False Truths and Surreal Realities

  1. anthonyhellmann says:

    No matter how hard you try, you will never exceed the expectations of others.
    Our journey here is to be free. Free as a 5 year old child that loves and receives love without expectation.

    As for God…it is not God that will excel you and make you free,
    God is just here to watch and let you live your life or create your life experience.
    God knows the final outcome so God does not interfere.
    You create your own life.
    Let go of the guilt because this is how your past programing hooks you.
    You feel like you need approval and acceptance.
    The only approval and acceptance that you need is self-love and self acceptance.
    Forgive yourself and live life your way as long as your choices do not inflict power over others.
    We are all free spirits here to experience our own lives.


    The Pinto Spirit

Please let me hear your thoughts. (via comment)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s