I just had this realization that it has been over a year since I’ve written Greyskeil Rainbow’s most popular post = No Matter What. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so. It’s a short story I’ve written with most of my thoughts, my emotions, about what God might be thinking and that battle against self-doubt.
It’s a bit stupid to think that it has beena year, and yet, somehow, I still don’t grasp this clearly, or..I feel as if I’m not in the right position yet. But, actually, there is no need to over complicate things. But, I actually do.
Being a Christian isn’t easy. There are times when we doubt God, and sometimes…we doubt ourselves.
No Matter What highlights some of these thoughts that I have also been anxious about in the past (and sometimes even now).
“I am being clouded by fearful imaginations,
That the day might come when I will fail you, Lord.
And that I might not stand in front of you,
That you would reject me.”
Do you feel as if God may reject you or dislike anything that you do? Do you fear that one day, you might actually fall and never be able to get back up? Well, I do too. But God promises that He is faithful to us. He will not separate Himself from you. He’s the one who gives the gift of salvation and He won’t take it back if you do something wrong. That’s how wide His grace is.
“At times, I think of you as a cloud of wrath,
Just waiting above until the time comes,
When you’ll strike with your iron fists of thunder
and send everyone helpless, desperate for life.
Your judgment scares me. I might not be saved.”
Is God really angry? Is He really in the business of judging people nowadays? Actually, some people believe that this is truth. However, God is not like that. His love is unconditional. He is not mad at you for your past failures, or your present struggles.
The gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, is pretty simple. God loves you and He longs for you. He isn’t mad at you.
He loves me… no matter what.
Indeed, He does.
I may have a lot of questions,
a lot of doubts,
a lot of mistakes and failures,
All He asks me to do is rest..
To rest..in His finished work.
He is for me…no matter what.
And so, I will not let go of Him.
And so, I will not worry.
And so, I will not try to save myself.