3:16 AM, and feeling like I’m lost again Reaching out my hand, but feeling like help has to come from none but myself. 3:16 AM, and feeling like I’m stuck again Walking, trying, but feeling like there’s no sign of improvement. Do you ever feel the same way? As if you’re stuck and feeling like you just have to do something? Like, “What I have now is not enough?” Looking at other people why are they so much more than what I am right now? Continue reading
He lets out a sigh. He may be frustrated. He may be exasperated, but the truth he couldn’t come to face yet is the truth of how tired he has become.
So many challenges. So many things to get through just to live. It’s getting very tiring. I don’t know if I can make it. Could I? As years pass, I am growing older. I am growing weaker. And calculating all the methods, or looking towards the possible future at this state…I know it’s not going to be fine.
These are the thoughts that enter his mind. Thoughts that wind up – realities of failure and calculations of the limited distance that he could run to.
Once, he would smile. He would laugh. He would take on an optimistic attitude, and face life without worries, but…it doesn’t last long.
He sits…then and there…frustrated.
Must I dismiss these thoughts entirely?
Or must I keep up with the positive thoughts, even if I know the reality of my insufficiency?
I am insufficient. People could go saying things like “You can do it”, “Have courage”, “Just believe in yourself,” …but I don’t find that works at all.
I could do my best, but my best would always never be enough for others.
I could do my best, but that’s all I could do…
Why not look to God, despite of our weakness and insufficiency?
As 2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
Beholding means we focus our eyes on the Lord and who He is. We don’t focus on what we do, and how we should change ourselves. We don’t keep on doing…and striving…trying to reach the top and focusing on that.
We focus our eyes on the Lord. His goodness for us. His power for us. And how extremely loving He is to us.
He is powerful. He is loving. And He is always good.
The moment we find ourselves in the position of the guy in this story…. or when we focus much more on what we should do, than to God Himself. Then, we ought to shift our eyes. Then are we transformed from glory to glory… into His image.
I have been experiencing emotional setbacks these past days, that’s why I couldn’t seem to write in my blog that well. But a friend told me:
“No matter what you deal with, God makes a way out eventually…”
And I’d like to believe that. Even if as humans, it’s that “eventually” that is most bothering.
So, what’s the best that I could do? It is…to trust God.
He never lets go.
“You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart in what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God’s right side. Think about what is up there, not about what is here on earth.” – Colossians 3:1-3 (CEV Translation)
I have been thinking last night about my priorities – about what I have been focusing on, or what I have been doing. I can’t help but embrace the ideas that wrap themselves around me – thinking that there’s room for a more comfortable life here on Earth. I’ve stuck to that idea…and I know I want it. I know I want to be more prosperous, gain more success and praise, to be a shining light to others a lot more…
But is that where it should be?
Where is my heart?
It might be fleeting away. It might be getting trapped into the lies saying something better is waiting for me here. It might be fooled by the ideals and principles of humanity around me, saying, “We can do something about this world. We can make it better.”
I happened to have stumbled upon Colossians 3, saying, “set your heart on what is in heaven. Think about what is up there, not what is here on earth.” Which just proves all my thoughts about this. We are so getting focused on what’s going on here…that we never realize that our hearts are being swayed and losing sight of our true home.
And it’s hard. It’s hard when everyone else are just so focused on having a founded life here on earth. It’s hard when they forget about Heaven, being our real home, and so you flow through life following their standards.
I’ve been too focused on my studies, on how we could live more satisfied here, that I am forgetting about my real home.
I’ve been reading blogs from my fellow Christians, and some part of me thinks that…. maybe they are slowly forgetting about that hope, too, because of all the things they focus on.
How about you? Where is your heart?
Is it set in the reality of our true home?
Or is it still grounded here on Earth – all of it, which our eyes can see, but all of it, which will soon fade away?
*Note: My birthday is tomorrow. Yay! :)