Giusefi sat down as he shared his problems to me. He was one of my closer friends. These were one of those rare moments when someone as strong as him would sit down and share his frail sides. He barely talks about them to anyone else, except for his best friends, and I was one of those friends.
“I…couldn’t help it. I’m sorry, Jenro,” he began.
“No, it’s okay, what is it? What happened? What’s wrong?” I replied. Earlier he had asked me to come, saying there was a problem he wanted to share to me.
“I couldn’t help it. I – you know, it’s hard to explain…” he said. I just nodded.
Giusefi is a pastor’s son. His mother goes home once or twice every few months, and at times, Giusefi is left at home to care for his siblings. The responsibility is on his shoulders.
No matter what, my child, I will be.
“Will you be?,” I questioned the Lord,
“Will there be nothing that could separate us and break us apart?
I am still haunted by the echoes in my head.
I am still tearing down myself from all these thoughts.
I am being clouded by fearful imaginations,
That the day might come when I will fail you, Lord.
And that I might not stand in front of you,
That you would reject me.”
It’s still a very good day today. I have a blessed life, I have a home, I have a family, and I have a lot of things to be thankful for. But why is it so hard…I sort of need help to change the way I think. At times, pessimism comes in my way and I forget everything else. There’s always hope, I know. There’s always a good future, and all that, yes. But why do I live with this fear?
Changing the way your mind works can be difficult. People–they influence you. Everywhere–there is influence to how your mind works. Good thinking, positive thinking? It’s really not that easy to achieve.
People smile, people go and wrap themselves with merriment yet deep inside there is sadness. The reality of sadness is there. I don’t know if it’s just me, but they say there is a cure. I don’t have to live with this. I also don’t have to live just pretending not to feel this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_yEVmhUs8U – Joseph Prince of New Creation Church talks about sadness, grief and disappointment.
Those are my thoughts today. Have a good day.