Live Loved

“Any fears, doubts, pride, guilt–all the things that plague us–sin, that so easily entangle us, always, if you trace it back you can find a line that goes back to disbelief that God loves you.”

Mike of Tenth Avenue North pretty much sums it up here in this video journal.

“We love – not to gain the love of God – but because He already, and does, love us.”

I believe that a lot of us still make a misconception out of this…thinking, and laying out indirectly, that to gain God’s favor we ought to do…to be. But that’s not the case, and that’s not the Gospel! God loves us and we don’t need to do anything to make Him love us. He loves us unconditionally.

And not making this clear for most Christians is probably the reason why most of us are moving away from Him. God is Love and all He does, He does out of love for you.

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You Are Mistaken

Ugh…mistakes. We can’t help but commit them over and over again, can we? At times, we continue to do them even if we know their wrong. At times, we can’t stop ourselves. At times, we don’t know that the outcome of what we think is right would be a mistake in the end.

Everyone makes mistakes. Only the prideful would tell himself that he’s never committed any, and never continues to commit any. The problem with us people is that, we focus too much on the mistakes of others…don’t we? We motivate people to thrive, to continue going and then curse and beat down the people who continue to make mistakes. Some just continue to make them, though, and people call them foolish, and would beat them up with words saying they’d never be able to obtain success in their life if they continued like that.

Just now, I committed a mistake again. I was trying to be overly genius and wanted to fix the virus in our computer, but I’ve deleted a file in the root of drive C:/, an important file needed to run the computer (which I thought wasn’t, since I never knew that an important file would be found in the drive C:/ root). So, as an end result, our computer wouldn’t run. Ugh. Of course, my response would be to blame myself and prepare for another looooong list of consequences, like being called a fool, or being shouted at, or having my credibility questioned…well, all those stuff. Which I never called for in the first place.

It’s kind of a bit pressuring, frustrating and maddening at the same time. You know that feeling of regret, of guilt, of so much blame? It happens to me a lot and I don’t know how I could cure it with all these echoes from all the people around me (even from myself, my consciousness) resonating after all the foolishness that I’ve done–it’s really heavy.

I kind of ask God, “Lord, if I’m already a Christian, and I’m your son, how come I commit these mistakes? How come I fail? How come I’m not better than them? They all look like they keep themselves together pretty well!

And you know what? It lowers my faith a lot. It makes me think and feel like – I AM NOT MEANT FOR THIS. I fail, I make mistakes, I’m not like them.

But shouldn’t the Gospel of Christ be a hope for the failures and screw-ups instead of a means to bring them down and put a lot of pressure on them more? Shouldn’t God be for the weak? Shouldn’t we be reaching out to those who fail and make mistakes instead of punch them right in the face to see how wrong they are?

Well, it’s all pretty harsh right now. I see myself and I know I’m not doing well. I feel like I’m in the dark, based from my own actions and thoughts. The worst thing that I could think is – God might be against me. But, I know that’s a lie.

2Cor. 5:17 says that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The question is, do we really have to prove to others that we are indeed new? I don’t think we have to. It’s like… trying to save ourselves and prove to God, that, here I am – I’m worthy! I’ve done all these good things! That would be like saving ourselves.

My take would be the trusting. Instead of trying then ending up with pride and undermining others, I’ll just trust, nothing more. That’s why we need a Savior, right? Because we can’t save ourselves and we can’t do better. Some may make it to success, but some may fail, but in the end, still, we can’t save ourselves. As Tenth Avenue North’s Mike Donehey puts it in his video journal: You can’t save yourself, but I know Someone who can, and He’s strong enough to save you.

Now, it’s okay to make mistakes. I’m not encouraging you to make them – we all know that they have consequences. The point here is, if you’re in Christ, God doesn’t condemn you for them.

I am inferior and I make mistakes. I try my best, but I may not succeed. I’m not better than anyone else, I don’t have all the knowledge, all the strength, all the words, but there’s a God who’s always better for me, and will complete me to the very end (Php1:6). And that’s hope, even for the most hopeless case!

No Matter What


No matter what, my child, I will be.

“Will you be?,” I questioned the Lord,
“Will there be nothing that could separate us and break us apart?
I am still haunted by the echoes in my head.
I am still tearing down myself from all these thoughts.
I am being clouded by fearful imaginations,
That the day might come when I will fail you, Lord.
And that I might not stand in front of you,
That you would reject me.”

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