Acronyms

FEAR
Frail Endeavors Along Reality

SHAME
Sufficient Happiness Among Mediocre Exteriors

DOUBT
Disguised as Opaque Unchangeable Bouts of Tenacity

LOVE 
Living Outside Viridian Establishments

HOPE
Headed Onwards to Peaceful Evenings

FAITH
Freedom Altering Inhibited Trails of Humanity

Counting on You

Other than occasionally making artstuff and working on a few random things like work, most of my recent days have been spent staring blankly towards nowhere. I’ve been thinking thoughts about who I should be but am not. Why do I still do this, in spite of the opportunities that obviously present themselves?

I’ve seen a year – heck, three years – blindly pass me by, Not saying nothing happened at all during those years, but…something more could have. I could be jumping into wells and riding paper planes. instead I contemplate about these things that have passed and blaming all the events that never happened.

I might even have lost sight of what Lightyoke is all about – which is carrying a lighter burden. Since…I know I shouldn’t be going easy now. So, yeah, things have been going very slow.

Twenty

I haven’t been posting here much, and for that I can’t seem to find a reason to. I probably have a lot going in my mind that I’m not able to write here – all these things that are really difficult to say.

But I’d like to go back – relive and realize all these things that I’ve wrote and how I may have changed throughout this journey. The other day, I celebrate my 20th birthday, and a few months from now, it will be three years since I started writing on this blog.

I’ve learned a lot, and am learning still. I’ll just keep at it, and keep going.

Sloppy World

(Written in a fictional character’s perspective. This isn’t me! Be warned: Much drama ahead.)

She held my hand. She was the little child, who used to giggle at the little things that filled her with glee. The little child, wielding crayons as a weapon of wonder and innocence, creating her sloppy world of red, blue and green.

“This is our house. And the sky, the clouds and the birds! This is our family! Mommy and daddy, and I’m in between them and there’s a heart-shape, because we love each other!”

He held my hand. He was the little child, who used to walk undaunted, full of awe and a sense of adventure. Breeding stories of knights, monsters–under the bed covers, scribbling over notebooks, creating his sloppy world of thick streaks of lead with subtle shades of grey..all coming from a tiny pencil.

“He’s going to be a hero! He’s going to save the world from evil! No one is gonna have to deal with evil ever again because he’ll be there.”

That day would come..when she’ll cling tight to mommy’s leg, as though something was wrong.

And he would, too…he would do the same. He knew something wasn’t right. What that exactly was – who knows. Maybe a child like him just doesn’t have the words to explain.

“What’s wrong, dear?”

She would say a few words. He would stay silent, sometimes.

And from there, they had gradually let go of my hand. They had slowly faded away..leaving with a bright sparkle of light, fading towards the end of nothing.

And now all around me was vivid, multi-dimensional. All around me was the bigger picture filled with color…A world no longer made of crayons, no longer of lead coming from this tiny pencil.

“What’s wrong, dear?”

“Nothing. Oh–nothing!” I flinched, as I snapped out of my daydreaming.

Hours go by and the bell finally rings. Everyone would singlehandedly agree that this moment was what the class had all been waiting for. Now I could go home and play Pokemon, then get back to watching that 50th anniversary special.

Everyone else… I think they would be doing the same.

 

Author’s Notes

This isn’t something to be taken literally, but with a lot of understanding.

Well On My Way By Now

Everyday, these past few months, I just seem to always go back to square one. Not knowing what to be, not knowing what to do. Not making any significant progress and not mapping out a goal. It’s frustrating how looking back at the things I’ve written from when I first started the blog, it is all mostly still the same. There were improvements, sure, but generally looking back and assessing myself, there’s no huge progress toward the way I should be going.

How do I start? How do I keep up with the pace of it all?

At first I thought it was only about evading the guilt and pressure to be perfect and moral. And I’ve learned that it’s not all about that.

Lying deeper, there’s the realization of the reality of time. The need for improvement and change. To sustain myself and to accomplish whatever is worthwhile.

As time moves, so does the expectation to grow up rises.

I’m turning 20, and so, you probably know what I mean.

With growing up comes the challenges to remain in childlike faith, and trust. Because the message of self-reliance, working in huge volumes, setting goals and focusing on that…this message is prevalent.

Though, at some point it’s necessary to move that way. It’s right. I’ve known and seen with my own eyes how my ways aren’t working anymore. There are things in my life that need a 180 degree turn – things that won’t come by mere prayer. Things that require battle and work.

If it continues on and change doesn’t happen – then days could again turn to years, and with that comes the piling up of tasks and expectations, and a lot of catching up, regrets, and ultimately, more frustration.

Something’s got to change. Something’s got to give.

I need you God, more than ever. Help me.

I am relying on you, still. Patience works, and patience is effective. Help me do my part.

Comic Strips: Honest Speculations and A Look Back

I’ve made 14 comics so far. Comic strips sharing a lot about my inner thoughts about life and the faith. 

 Yet in spite of this, I still really fail to define what I am all about, and it is getting a bit difficult to keep making comics. I’m mostly getting in these dilemmas, or maybe just unable to handle my time well.

Anyway, here’s a post looking back at the comic strips that I have made from February 2013 – October 2013. You can click on the images to bring you to the original comic post.

Comic #1: Wait And See

I made Wait And See with the confidence that Christ keeps on redeeming me in the midst of the disbelief and self-doubt. This has, in a way, touched other people through and through.

Artwork: Thinking of You by Matthew Parker

Art by Tactician Jenro

“I was surprised by a bluebird

He came and sat next to me

I was so blue he was so happy

He reminded me of you

I’m thinking of you.”

I’m always on the lookout for music I find interesting and just recently discovered Matthew Parker, a new Christian artist who’s just the same age as I am.

One of my favorite songs he wrote is “Thinking of You” an Owl City-sound alike song. I decided to make this fanart out of it, based on the lyrics. You can listen to it here.

Comic #14: Symphony and Significance

comic by Tactician Jenro

It’s been about a month since my last comic! So here’s an update. It’s poorly drawn to be honest, and the idea is all over the place.

But hope I got the point across.

We’re all a part of this journey together. We may not be Steve Jobs or Gandhi, Paul or Peter, but there’s a music stirring inside of us that we just have to play out… a difference that we can make.